Watching through the archive of the dual livestreams of two Washington, DC, rallies on the Fox News affiliate
: Mother of All Rallies (Trump supporters) and the Juggalos. So amusing.
Vice News has been covering the Gathering of the Juggalos for a few years, and I always read their articles and think it sounds like it must be lots of fun if you're into mud and stickiness, which I'm not particularly. Faygo flinging aside, they're not an especially alarming group. Unlike, say, the Fyre Festival people (hee).
The older dude they've got covering the Juggalos protest is hilarious -- he's clearly so charmed in spite of himself.
Right off the bat, he was like, I dunno, I dunno, I can't see any police, where are the police, I guess they're not expecting any problems? There's only the national park patrol. (Camera zooms in on some park patrol officers chatting with each other, and a Juggalo petting the horse.) The longer Old Dude's there ... the desk anchor keeps asking him (repeatedly, in a leading tone) if people are "giving him trouble" when he tries to interview them, and he's like, No! Everyone's being so nice! And then he's like, Uh, there's a lot of 'f-words' being flung about, so if that's offensive, you should, uh, not watch this coverage, uh. The periodic chanting consists of "Fuck that shit!" and "You fucked up!" (re: the FBI), and occasionally "L O V!" It's a fairly healthy crowd, a lot of them are dressed in weird stuff or band merch. The steady, small crowd in front of the stage is actually listening to the speakers and rap acts, and busts into a minor mosh pit once in a while.
It's pretty clear that he's enjoying his assignment.
The MOAR is visibly
poorly attended, the speakers (what we hear of them) are just as amateurish as those at the Juggalo rally, but they're boring,
and the small crowd in front of the stage gets smaller and smaller every time the coverage drops back in -- by four hours in, it's nothing but a handful of people. The rest are wandering around looking sleepy or zoned out in lawnchairs. The reporter at the MOAR rally is trying SO HARD to make it sound awesome and is just ... failing. Oh, now she's walking over to a sign -- propped up by an empty table with no people anywhere near it -- and saying, "See? This is what this rally is about! Patriotism. Not racism or any of that." (Earlier, the camera had settled on -- then quickly cut away from -- the two women holding up a bedsheet banner with "BUILD THAT WALL" written all over it in marker.) She points to a trailer with a big sign on it. And at the handful of people in front of the stage. She's trying so hard to push
this rally and make it sound cool -- which is why I don't feel sorry for her.
It's pretty clear she's not enjoying her assignment. She should have asked to cover the Juggalos.
MOAR Dude on stage: "It seems the left will never be satisfied until they move America foward in a direction that leads to distruction. Right off a liberal cliff that leads to failure and hell."
Juggalo Dude on stage yanks up his shirt: "Those are Juggalo titties!"
ETA2: Oh ho. Anti-fa Black Block have crashed the Juggalo's protest and are camping out on the lawn in a group. Now the D.C. police have shown up, too. Hmm. Everyone is worried, old dude says. But Old Dude also is ... actually chuckling about people smoking joints: "People are definitely smoking some dope (heh heh)." And again: "People are being so nice to us." <-- I wonder if people have been sharing with him. He sounds so upset that the Black Block is crashing his
awesome rally. ^___^
ETA3: Sign in crowd: "Fandom is not a felony."
ETA4: ICP rant is decidedly left wing here. LOL.
ETA5: Violent J's fiery, enlightened political speech: "Taking away somebody's opinion is no different than sewing their butthole shut. Do you want to sew a man's butthole shut?* I mean, I might want to watch what happens. In fast forward. But I don't wanna do the actual sewing. The point is, fuck discrimination! Right?" LOLOLOL.
(*Crowd: No! One woman, loudly: Yes!)
ETA6: Shaggy-2-Dope's version: "There's many Americans who don't fucking wanna see any more played-out, 1960-fuckin-4 old-guard, old-money, old wriggly red-necked, whiskey-throat, bigot, bitch-boy, richie-dick-head, douchery discrimination and this played-out bullshit in our country anymore. The good people, the hard-working people, the heart-having, free-thinking, moral-minded people are demanding better treatment for each other, on
each other, in this day and age. In this day and age, we're talking about the American government still
doing this bullshit. That's why you're here, right now. You're in the Crowd to be Proud. You're the ones demanding no discrimination. Why the fuck would anybody wanna be on the other side in the argument? Why?"
Holy shit. S2D's ten-times more articulate than Trump. And it's most definitely a political rally now. Even if we set aside the earlier exhortations by VJ to masturbate in the maple trees for FBI cameras.
ETA7: She's interviewing a dude who had a tee-shirt made that shows White Jesus petting a Trump photo, it says, "I picked you for President." Uh huh. She's also managed to somehow find a "Latina for Trump" woman and a "Jews for Trump" teaparty guy, who also seems to be ... deeply weird. She's admitting (a bit reluctantly) that the crowd has gotten ... less.
ETA8: The Juggalo March is more of a Juggalo Leisurely Stroll and Chat. The cop on the motorbike has to stop because it's so slow he can't roll enough to stay upright. Hee. He's wound up far back of the Black Block, who brought a very professional looking "Whoop Whoop" banner with them -- they're easy to spot, as they're the only ones with bandanas over their faces.
ETA9: Back to (exceedingly placid and sparse) MOAR, where she's insisting that the crowd got "quite rowdy" for a singer who sang two numbers, "Build That Wall" and "MAGA." As the camera zooms in tightly on probably the only Asian guy in attendance -- and lingers there for some reason -- she insists (again), "That's what this is really about today. Celebrating being patriotic. Celebrating the American flag. Celebrating being American really." Then she goes on about how everyone's here to support the president, to support what he's trying to do! I'm not sure why she clearly doesn't grasp how one does not necessarily equate with the other. She's also talking about how when protestors showed up, they weren't allowed past the fences -- in other words, some Democrats did come to their rally, but they didn't let them in.* Hee.
What weird coverage.
(*An hour or so earlier they'd found this woman to babble on camera about how Democrats obviously weren't interested in patriotism and supporting America or they'd be there, too. Because it's a rally about supporting America! ... Where every person is decked out in Trump gear. Where the speaker on the stage behind her is ranting about how Democrats are godless, evil incarnate.)
OH LOOOOL. Over at MOAR they're playing "Play That Funky Music" over the loudspeaker. And each time the lyric "Play that funky music, white boy" comes up, the network's messing with the sound so you can't hear it. LOOOOL.
ETA10: Back to the Juggalo March -- which has disappeared. Poor dude sounds so disappointed. They walked down the reflecting pool and went ... somewhere. He doesn't know where. But he checked the website, and it says they're supposed to have a concert tonight, but they seem to be taking down the stage! (Camera swivels to the stage -- where they're obviously revamping it from rally to concert modes.) He sounds rather sad. Now they're discussing how the antifa people are "known to be violent" ... but didn't do anything. He sounds disappointed. POOR PAUL. She's really insistent, she wants to know: WHAT DID THE ANTIFA PEOPLE DO??? He says, Uh, I think they just walked along with the crowd? But everyone's gone...
"We did see a couple of undercover officers." <-- LOLOL. They must have been pretty shit at undercover then.
ETA11: OMG LOL